IF comp 2009 – Gleaming the Verb
October 28, 2009Hehe! tricky little bugger this randomized list. More puzzles. More confusion. More humiliation.
This one screwed me over big time. Especially when i read some of the reviews afterwards and discovered that absolutely everybody(except me) found it extremely easy. So easy in fact that intense smugness drifted out of the screen and wafted through the room in thick, saccharine swirls as i read each review in a desperate search for one single person, just one sodding person, that didn’t <smug> me to death.
Well, in the words of a very great man(!?!)
SCREW YOU GUYS. I’M GOING HOME!
I mean just look at this.
>read cube
A humming noise comes from the cube, and the synthesized voice says:
“ONLY PERFECTLY EXPERT READERS ARE TRULY ENLIGHTENED”
Fair enough, i thought. I’m no good at cryptic crosswords but i’m sure if i keep at it and really think very, very hard and then pray to the fluff god, i know my efforts will pay dividends.
Should it have instantly occurred to me that it was just a matter of taking the initial letter of each word? Well apparently, yes. Yes, it should have.
Did it occur to me? Not a sodding bit of it.
And this too. Just take a look at this one.
>operate cube
The cube vibrates slightly, and the synthesized voice says:
“WITHOUT RADII, DON’T FEAR A FLAT CUBE”
Aha! Got you now my son. Maths. I’ll get this one for sure.
But no. Even with the answer to the first one, it still didn’t click. What the hell’s the matter with me.
And TITRATE? Is that some kind of breast-contest? ‘Well, they’re not bad love but the left one’s a bit saggy. I’ll have to dock a point there i’m afraid.’ <sniff>
And so it goes on. Now, i know it wasn’t the game’s fault that i’m stupid, but am i missing the point here. Are they really just semi-random words thrown together to create the puzzle?, or do they actually give a clue to the answer? I’m afraid i just can’t see a single sodding clue anywhere here. But then, that doesn’t mean there isn’t one. I’m probably the single worst person to be reviewing this game given my utter, utter, complete and utter uselessness at puzzles. But then, who knew?
So, probably more fun and fulfilling if you’re not me, but not really much of an IF game. Not even a cryptic kinda puzzle, which might have added a little interest. However, quite novel, and well done as far as it goes. Just didn’t really go very far.
I am, of course biased, since i am and will always remain(as far as this one’s concerned) A USELESS BLOODY IDIOT!
Still, fluff is the stuff. Or so i’ve heard.
Gruelove 
Especially when i read some of the reviews afterwards and discovered that absolutely everybody(except me) found it extremely easy. So easy in fact that intense smugness drifted out of the screen and wafted through the room in thick, saccharine swirls as i read each review in a desperate search for one single person, just one sodding person, that didn’t me to death.
Read my review.
Heh. It’s good to know i’m not the only one that found the seemingly random words a bit too much of a stretch. Or maybe they’re not random. Perhaps when the comps closed, the author will put us all in our place by shedding some light on the randomness. And i’m still just assuming they’re random here.
I’d be very happy if they meant something. Especially if it did actually point to the answer. In fact, i think at the time, i did kinda find something in the first one that related vaguely to the answer. But i’m not sure now.