IF comp 2010 – Oxygen

October 24, 2010

God-damn f@#king sci-fi.

For those of you that don’t know, i quite like sci-fi books and am partial to a good sci-fi film.  But GOD-DAMN IT, would you ever stop making games that require me to go down this conduit that looks exactly like that conduit, and oh look, i’m in a corridor that looks exactly like that corridor, and oh look, there’s a GOD-DAMN F@#KING console, and OH F@#KING LOOK,  it doesn’t have a power supply.   JEEESSSUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS……!!!

So anyway, i’ve had a bad day and now i’ve got to play this GOD-F@#KING DAMN SCI-FI…

It’s not gonna be pretty…

Well, let’s see now. We’re a technician(yawn…) and we’re in a conduit(oh, surprise surprise) and there’s a console here(ya don’t say). It appears there’s an oxygen leak and i’ve got to transfer the reserve oxygen to the fore section to save all the nobs and big-wigs while depriving the poor striking workers in the aft section  of the self-same precious oxygen. Oh yeeeeaaaahhh…. i’ll do that. Sure i will. I’ll do it right now. I promise.

And i have a little black GAMMA card too.  I’ll bet there’s a slot to stick it in.

>stick black thing in slot

Oh yeah baby, ya know ya want it… 

Wait, hold everything now.  You know what i’ve forgotten don’t you?  That’s right…

Out of thin air a little girl pops. “I just can’t believe it! After seven books we find out that Harry Potter is the heir to Slytherin, Ron decides to become a pygmy puff breeder in Australia, and Hermoine is a boy! What a rip-off!” Exasperated, she disappears in a poof.

Heh heh heh.  Maybe i’ve been a little too hard on this game.  After all, any game that lets you stick his black thing in her slot can’t be all bad can it?  And i’ve always liked sci-fi games too.  I have… I bloody have…

So, with renewed vigour and enthusiasm for this delightful little game, we start to merrily sign a death warrant for the nobs and big-wigs.  Bastards, they deserve every eye-popping gasp as they attempt unsuccessfully to draw another pointless breath while i and my sci-fi loving band of striking miners dance and sing and stick our black things in her slot all the day long and await rescue.  Yeah, that seems like a plan.  I like that plan.  Well, who wouldn’t?

But, lo-and-behold, does my dastardly plan work out like this?  No… no of course it doesn’t.  And why not?, i hear you cry.  Well i’ll tell you, and i’ll even do it in a whole snazzy, separate, super-duper, look-at-me type paragraph too.  Look, here it is now,

I tried, my little miner friends, i really did, but what can you do when the whole system is stacked in favour of the GOD-DAMN nobs and big-wigs.  Still, we did survive and we did get the better of them.  More oxygen for one, and then we got the Captain to sign to say he was a plonker and we were the best thing ever in the history of the multiverse.  And we did this by simply sticking our black thing in her slot and leaving it there until all the reserve oxygen is used up.  This results in there being more oxygen in the aft than the fore and so gives me and my miner buddies the upper hand.  I say me because after transferring the oxygen, i grab my randomly placed wounded man(who has a THETA card incidentally) and make off with him to the aft section and the ensuing piss-up and orgy that results.  So, that’s all right then.(n.b. i may have made up the bit about the piss-up and orgy)

Do i really like sci-fi games as much as books and films then?  No, none that i’ve come across so far anyway.  That’s not to say someone out there isn’t designing and building the ultimate, bestest ever sci-fi IF game ever that i’ll just love and play over and over, but for now i’m still waiting.

So, this did actually turn out to be a little better than a lot of the sci-fi i’ve played but ultimately even given the fun i had with it and really kinda read into it myself in a way, it still wasn’t my thing really, no matter how much i would’ve liked it to have been.  And it was that kind of game too i feel.  I mean, i really wanted to like it in the end.  In fact, i played it through a couple of times(which i never do with sci-fi) because i wasn’t at all satisfied with the first ending i got(nobs and big-wigs survive, strikers die).

Think it deserves a nice 7.  For the desire to make the nobs and big-wigs pay, and the fact that it’s just the same ol’ conduit, corridor, console kinda sci-fi fare.


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