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cgdc #7 – Survive

February 6, 2010

Oh dear…

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

<sigh>

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

How on earth am i going to handle this one then?

It’s quite clearly the work of someone who knows a little English, but not nearly enough to pull off a work of IF. Unfortunately, no-one told them this before they entered it for a competition.

Ok. I think i’m just gonna have to cut-and-paste a few examples of the text to demonstrate just how bad this is.

The game involves a German soldier captured by the British, which is a serious subject that suffers badly at the hands of the author’s… how shall i put it? …unfortunate English?

>x doctor
In his forties and of big moustache[…]

This is one of the very few moments you’re actually able to interact with the game at all. Most of the time(and i do mean most of the time) you’re only able to press a key and watch the text scroll seemingly endlessly up the screen, and the next screen, and the next screen. In among the continuously scrolling non-interactive text, are such gems as these.

[…]and a couple of soldiers run to somewhere else.
[…]it accelerates in what it seems a constant climbing track.
The frozed mountain side can occasionally be seen through the cover[…]
The guards take you down the truck[…]
[…]and specially what expect them from you.
[…]You realize he was just looking for making some theatrical stuff[…]

Ok. I think that’s more than enough for you to get the idea. I really can’t understand why someone would enter a game like this into such a high-profile comp., unless they thought their English was better than it actually is. This is the only reason i can come up with for what truly is, on the one hand, an abysmal piece of English fiction, and on the other, the most non-interactive piece of IF i think i’ve ever seen. Even if you overlook the bad English, there is simply no excuse for the lack of interaction in what is, after all is said and done, an interactive game.

I’m going to end it there by saying that i don’t go out of my way to anger, annoy or upset people and i hope i haven’t done any of that here, but sometimes i think i’m faced with a game that i just don’t have any choice but to tell it as it is. And i’m afraid, this is that game.

1 out of 5. Because i can’t give it zero.

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