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IF comp 2009 – GATOR-ON, Friend to Wetlands!

November 6, 2009

So, this one’s giving me jip.

I’m gonna have to do this review in bits. It bugs me to have to admit it, but i’m pissed off with it and enamoured of it all at the same time.

Still…

Doesn’t stop it being very, very annoying.

Ge’ez, these descriptions are a little on the repetitive side aren’t they? Am i supposed to be getting somewhere? The guide and driver don’t want to know me that’s for sure. Should i wait and see if i end up somewhere? Perhaps it’s better if i get out. Yeah, i’ll get out.

Aaargggh. Wassat? Oh. It’s just a banner appearing in the top-centre of the screen(god only knows why) after 46 moves. She says,

[ THERE are no other Everglades in the world.
— Marjory Stoneman Douglas ]

But Marjory’s a nice name, so… there you are then.

This is quite annoying though. No descriptions. I mean, none at all. Why not? Why the belly-fluff-of-satan not? Is it too much to ask for the odd bit of descriptive writing? A little prose? The odd word or too even? Well… what d’ ya have to say for yourself young ‘un?  Huh? Huh?

But, Marjory was a nice name. I liked Marjory.

Anyway. Oh yeah, the annoying bit,

>w

Wetlands What commonly gets called a “swamp” is actually the most extraordinary ecosystem on the planet. Water and grass extend as far you can see, filled with an incredible variety of birds and fish and turtles and (of course!) alligators.

>x water
You can’t see any such thing.

>x grass
You can’t see any such thing.

>x birds
You can’t see any such thing.

>x fish
You can’t see any such thing.

>x turtles
You can’t see any such thing.

Yep, very annoying.

>x alligators
Serious gray reptiles of impressive size.

Ah-hah! Got ya, ya bugger. Knew there had to be one in there somewhere. Still, not very impressive as not very impressive descriptions go. But no, i will not be negative(you jest surely, my little lover of grues?).

>n

US-41
US-41 stretches east and west across the landscape.

>x US-41
You can’t see any such thing.

Here we go again. Obviously not important, whatever the hell it is. Perhaps it’s a road. Is it a road. I’ll bet it’s a road.

>w

Shark Valley East Loop Road, Near Visitor Center The loop road passes the visitor center here, south, and continues along to the southwest and southeast. There is a parking lot to the west.

Oh sweet! i’ve found something. I’ve actually found something. I feel like i should have won now. Have i won yet? That’s gotta mean i’ve won.

>w

Parking Lot
An black expanse of asphalt, a common sight in Florida. There is a vistor center southeast.

>se

Visitor Center
The Visitor Center is really just an outside pavillion with an overhanging roof, for short public presentations.

A crow searches the grass for discarded snacks.

[Your score has just gone up by one point.]

There’s that sodding score thing again. What’s with the score thing then?

>x crow
The crow has black feathers and intelligent black eyes.
The crow suddenly flies directly at a child, causing him to drop his snack, which the crow flies off with.

Woah look, i can examine crows.  Wonder if that means something? Probably not.  Nice work anyway matey. Now you’re getting the hang of it. Very nice. Can’t examine the visitor center but hey, can’t win them all. Now, we’re off into the endless wastes(or glorious… whatevers) again.

>nw

Shark Valley East Loop Road, Near Visitor Center The loop road passes the visitor center here, south, and continues along to the southwest and southeast. There is a parking lot to the west.

The tram arrives.

Goddamn tram’s arrived again. I can’t believe this. It may very well be time for the walk through. Bloody tram!

Ok, now if i’d known to stay on the sodding, bloody, god-forsaken tram in the first place, i wouldn’t be so antsy now, WELL WOULD I? So anyway, the tram’s taken me back to the visitor center. Now to lay my dastardly plan to capture a crow. Pretty sure that’s what i’m supposed to do. Yep. Gonna do that.

Nope. Bugger it. This one’s starting to annoy me something chronic.  Walk through again.

So, i’ve left something important at the hatch have i? WHAT BLOODY HATCH? No-one said anything about a hatch. And if that square-brackety-score thingy happens one more time, i swear…

A hatch on the ground is barely visible through the periphyton.

You can also see a transmitter here.

[Your score has just gone up by one point.]

>x transmitter
It’s a small device with a tiny antenna.

Oooooh… a transmitter. To attach to the crow etc… etc… (i hope)

Aaaaarrrgghhhh!  You’re shitting me.  I mean, what the…  Aaaaarrrgghhh!

So i put the transmitter in the chips bag and gave it to the crow. Followed it a little way using the beacon(feeling confident now) then found the ripped open bag and nothing else of interest and no crow either. I’m taking an alcohol break.  A sodding big one.

Bloody crow.

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