IF comp 2009 – The Hangover

October 23, 2009

Oooooooh! <cringe, great sucking in of breath>

My god, the writing in this leaves a lot to be desired.  Is he/she/it learning english i wonder?  If so, you’re doing very well deary. <smile sweetly> If not, oooooooooooooh! <more sucking in of breath>

I wonder why people write games like this.  I mean, the time it must take just to get a game written in the first place, then the beta-testing(if there is any) and more reviewing etc… The reason i mention it is that one gets the impression(oh! i’ve gone all posh.  What’s that about then?) that writing a game, any game, would be the result of a deep passion or a great unquenchable desire to produce something that could at least be described as a good attempt even if it did fall a little short of expectations.  But when playing games like this one, i get the impression that it was just rushed out in as short a time as possible.  No polish, not even the basics in fact, such as spell checking and making sure exits go where they say they should(which is another thing this one suffers from).

Also, and this is quite a big moan, i had to install an earlier version of Adrift since the game is version 3.9 and my Adrift 4.0 told me i’d have to convert it, at which point it locked up and that was the end of that.  Doesn’t bode well.  doesn’t bode well at all.

Anyway, follow me if you like a good moan.

Is it really too much to expect things to be implemented?  Ya know, things we’re implicitly told are in the room.  Here’s a prime example.

You move west.
Your Living Room
You living room wich also is your kitchen and dining room and just about everything else besides a bathroom. You have a kicthen counter and a fridge. There seems to be a table with three chairs. You have a TV and a couch as well… and a women is sleeping on the couch. How the hell did someone like you pull that off? She must have been drunk and by your headache so were you. To the north is the exit. To the east is Your Bedroom.  The women is here.

>x counter
Nothing special.

>x fridge
Nothing special.

>x table
Nothing special.

>x chairs
Nothing special.

>x tv
Nothing special.

>x couch
Nothing special.

I mean, come on young’un, you said this stuff was in the room.  I’m looking right at it when i enter, and yet… oh i dunno.  There was a point i too thought i might just play the games that listed beta-testers, but i honestly thought it wouldn’t be fair to refuse to play a game on the basis that it didn’t list the little beta-creatures, but now… well i gotta tell ya, i’m seriously thinking about defecting to the other side girls and boys, seriously thinking about it now.

<sigh, shake head sadly>

Oh, since i think of it, i’m going to be trying something new and revolutionary.  Yep!  revolutionary.  As of the next review, i’m going to alternate between masculine and feminine pronouns when referring to the PC.  I know!  It IS so modern man of me.  I’m proud of me for even considering that one.  I bet it turns out to be the linchpin of my life.  Yeah, that’s what it’ll be,  the linchpin.

What’s a linchpin?

So, anyway we go wandering off trying to locate the three forms necessary to get our name changed on our card and get into oodles of hilarious scrapes and wonderous adventures(huh?! yes we dooooooooo! we doooOOOOOOOOO!!).  Actually, no we don’t.  It’s pretty much just run of the mill stuff.  And that’s a shame really, since even if this one was whipped out in a hurry(and i don’t know that for sure, but hey, i’m nice really so let’s say it was), it must still have taken time to put together.  So why not at least use that elusive spell checker.  Would it really have slowed you down that much?  I’m using one now in fact.  Good en’ it?

Now, i’m not much of a one for the ol’ fist-i-mi-cuffs, except perhaps the passive-aggressive sort but this was mildly amusing(unintentionally so), nevertheless it <smirked> me in its own way.

>hit women
Women avoids your feeble attempts.

>kick women
Women avoids your feeble attempts.

>x women
The mysterious women on your couch. She seems to be in a very deep slumber

Strange.  My very own little lady doesn’t sleep that deeply, and yet she sleeps deeper than death.  Also, riddle-me-this.  What’s the difference between attacking, hitting and kicking?  Answer: lots(when it’s a bum on a bench).

The bum is here.

>attack bum
Bum avoids your feeble attempts.

>hit bum
Bum avoids your feeble attempts.

>kick bum
You have the kicked the bum right off the bench! He is in a terrible mood but simply walks over to Fredrick Avenue. The bus has arrived! You should get on the bus. Go north to get on the bus.

Little things again i know, but the devil’s in the detail, and it’s these little things that can make all the difference to a game.  I mean, should it really have mattered that i attacked or hit instead of kicked?  Shouldn’t any game worth it’s salt accept them all?  Or at the very least give me a good reason as to WHY THE HELL NOT?

So, this one didn’t do it for me i’m afraid.  But then, i don’t think that was down to me this time.  In fact, i know damned well it wasn’t down to me this time(apologies to Yon Astounding Castle!).  Won’t be playing this again.  Kind of regret the time it took to get this far with it to be honest.  I mean, think of all the other things i could have filled that time with.  Er… erm… hmmmm… well there is that… no, no.  OK.  Probably didn’t miss much of life during my hangover period, but that’s not the point really is it?

Onto the next one it is then.

…And don’t forget to fluff.

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