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IF comp 2009 – The Ascot

October 16, 2009

Aha! A kind of CYOA type thingy.  Oh, i remember well those wonderful lazy days of summer in the first flush of youth clutching my copy of FF’s Deathtrap Dungeon.  I still have it.  It has expanded to twice it’s original thickness with the damp and as an extra little bonus, has developed those lovely crinkly pages that you just can’t help… er… crinkling!

Gods, this coffee’s good.  Always tastes more coffee-like first thing in the morning.  Have you ever noticed that?  I have.  Maybe it’s because i’ve been denied my every-ten-minutes-coffee-fix by that other enticing addiction, sleep.  I’m soooooooo up early today.  Don’t know that my brains kicked into gear just yet.  It’s probably in terrible shock.  I think i even heard the morning chorus.  Well not so much a chorus, more a morning squawk-fest.  Crows.  You gotta love ’em really.

Anyway, lets dive straight in shall we? (i’ve a feeling i may regret this sooner than i think)

credits
[…] My friend Danny did a lot of the beta-testing.

Hmmmmmm…!  Now as credits go, this has a lot going for it.  One beta-tester who happens to be ‘your friend Danny’.  For a start, it gets round the problem of your game not being rated because it wasn’t beta-tested, because as he says – and quite succinctly too i thought – it was;  And by his friend Danny, no less.

how to play

Yep, that’s how we find out ‘how to play’.  Well, makes sense.  No-one could deny, it does what it says on the tin – you may need to be British to get that – but even so, there tend to be conventions for these things.

I’m afraid i had to google the Ascot of the title.  It appears to be,

a very tall standing collar with the points turned up over the chin, to be worn with an Ascot tie.

Ok.  I’m clearly someone for whom the words self respect mean little.  So, anyway i’m told i decide to go to the convenience store.  Here, i meet a man who for no obvious reason offers me said Ascot.

Hey, man.  Wujalykan ASCOT?

Huh!  Wassat?  Whaaaaa…?  Well, if you’re going to start making up your own words young fella-me-lad, two can play at that game.

The whole game revolves around me typing either yes or no to the various and unending questions put to me to move the story on.  This is not what i remember it being like back in my FF days.  Ah! Deathtrap Dungeon.  It had a big wormy-snakey type creature curled up on the cover as i remember.  Can i talk about that instead?  <wistful sighs>

Surely it wouldn’t have been too much trouble to implement a few genuine choices instead of just yes and no?  The trouble is, the whole story just leads you along one path anyway, so it’s not even as though it matters much what answer you give.  In fact to test this, i answered everything with random yeses – that can’t be how that’s spelt – and no’s – is that even right? – and ended up not only doing no worse than before, but the story trundled along quite happily seemingly not giving a damn whether i was actually there or not.  Now, i’m all for different implementations and different ways of doing stuff, but i’m pretty sure IF should be a little more interactive than this.  Well, that’s my two penneth anyway – that’s probably not how you spell ‘penneth’ either – but it’s very early.  That’s all the excuse i can muster at the moment.

You know, i actually feel a bit down after playing that.  It’s actually depressed me a little.  I’m sure of it.

You bastard!

You’re getting a zero.  Don’t do it again.  Now go to your room.

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